CSI MK

We’ve had a sad start to the week in our office, we came in to work on Monday to find a friend who we were very fond of had died over the weekend. Little fear - the fourth office fish - had sadly passed away

Accusations of bullying from the other fishies - juan, dos and trey - were bandied about, as were medical oppinions such as ‘fear was the little fat one… maybe he died of obesity?’ But whatever the reason for his untimely demise, little fear had certainly left a golfball-shaped hole in our fishtank.

So the decision was made to go back to the garden centre that we bought him from - receipt in hand, and ask for a replacement. We had only had him for 5 days after all and apparently they’re guarenteed for 14!!

When we arrived at the garden centre though I did start to feel a bit like a suspect in a murder enquiry… Firstly we were told that we could only get a refund for the cost of the dead fish if we brought him back in with us (??? - it’s a dead fish for christ’s sake - not the kind of thing a gal really wants to carry round in her handbag!), and not only that, we had to take a sample of the tank water in with us so they could get in analysed for toxins… Our arguments that the other three fishies were thriving held no sway with the ‘Inspector Morse’ of the fish world who said that under no circumstances would a refund be issued without a) a body, and b) a water sample!!!!

I actually think this guy was under the mistaken impression that he was working in some crime scene investigation squad for MI5 rather than the local garden centre!

Nor did he find our growing hilarity about the whole situation endearing… As our giggles about the ‘nonsense-ness’ of it all increased, so did his earnestness about the need to examine the water for toxins. He certainly didn’t appreciate us asking whether they needed to have the body back because they were planning on carrying out a post mortem to determine time and cause of death!

So - without our refund, or our dignity we left the garden centre with a new playmate for juan, dos and trey… welcome to our world little fumph